Posts Tagged ‘Exercise’

After months of excuses, real (moving, swine flu, pneumonia) and not (too busy, too tired, too many other things to do) I went back to working out this week. Monday was 45 minutes on the treadmill. A puff of the old inhaler and I was good to go.
Tuesday was…oh yeah, didn’t make it to the gym on Tuesday . (see unreal excuses, above)
Yesterday was Yoga at the brand-spanking new and oh-so beautiful Pure Yoga on the West Side (still un-sceney and uncrowded. Enjoy it while you can.)
And today was Nia.
For those of you who don’t know, Nia is…well, it’s hard to describe. I think of it as guided creative movement. It’s not really dance…but it sort of is. It’s not “aerobics” but it can be very aerobic. It’s not Yoga, but there are elements of Yoga and Tai Chi and Modern Dance. There is also a lot of talk about being in touch with your body, and about a sense of play. I’ve written about it here, if you want to know more.
ANYhoo, normally, Nia class makes me feel great, invigorated, and pretty damn good about myself. But today…not so much.  Because today, my instructor decided that we should spend the whole class feeling sexy.


I’m exercising, buddy. I’m wearing an old Alvin Ailey T-shirt, I have no make-up on, I’m sweating, I’m barefoot, I’m worried that since I’ve done nothing aerobic in two months that my pneumonia compromised lungs will collapse… and you want me to feel sexy?

I don’t feel sexy.  I don’t even want to think sexy.  All I want to think about is what I’m gonna eat when this is over.

To make things worse, he kept on using the idea of a puppy as an image. As in “scoop your arms as if you were picking up a puppy.”

Picking up, scoop and puppy. What do those two words make me think of?

You guessed it, picking up my puppy’s poop. In the living room. In my son’s bedroom. Everywhere, it seems, but outside.

So between the sexy talk and the puppy I did NOT feel empowered and invigorated. I felt sweaty and decidedly unsexy. And I kept on smelling poop.  Please, please, let the puppy not have pooped on something I’m wearing.

Ah well, enough complaining.  Time to go walk the dog.

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I don’t really have time to post today:
Sick dog (for a change)
Stinky Dog (just bathed him. fun fun fun)
Daughter needs socks brought to her at school on the other side of town. (don’t ask)
Dryer broken
Going back to Yoga (finally…I hope)
No food in house. (though I did get Fresh Direct yesterday…so I don’t really get it) Must go shopping.
Actual (paid) work assignment to complete. (shocking, I know.)
Much incredibly smelly laundry (sick dog is pooping inside again. Fun fun fun.)

You’re all jealous now, right? Because I have such a wonderful life.

And now, as a complete non-sequitor, the Today Show is in the background, and they just announced that marriage makes you fat. Yay! Single women gain 11 lbs over ten years. Married women gain double that. But God bless Piers Morgan…he just announced that he thinks that’s great. He wants his model-thin girlfriend to bulk-up. I think I’m in love.

ANYHOO- here’s the post I would have written if I had had the time. It pretty much sums up how I’m feeling today. And while you read it, imagine me doing lunges. That’s what I did. (Imagined me doing them. I didn’t actually do them. Puh-lease. Did you see that list of things I’ve got to do?)

Click and read. Click and Read.

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Nia for Me-a

In my never-ending quest for a flab free existence without ever giving up a single food I like, I take Nia.

This, from the official Nia website, is what it is:

Nia is a body-mind-spirit fitness and lifestyle practice. Through expressive movement—The Body’s Way—Nia empowers people to achieve physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being.

Life lived in a body the Nia way is life lived in relationship to the sacred geometry of life.

I have no idea what that means.  All I know is, Nia is fun.  Now let’s be honest: running on a treadmill is not fun.  Lifting weights is not fun.  Riding a stationary bike, doing squats, suffering through crunches, not fun, not fun, not fun.

Nia is dance you don’t need to be all that coordinated to do.  There are no “routines” to learn.  Just steps to follow.  My class (that I’ve been taking for several years) has women of a wide range of sizes and ages. (And yes, I am always trying to figure out where I am on the age/size continuum.) In it, I feel – ready for it? — graceful and lithe.  Lithe — now there’s a word not too many people would use to describe me.  But notice I didn’t say I LOOK graceful and lithe.  For all I know I look like a big gallumphing oaf — the point is, I feel good about it — so I do it.

The thing about Nia is – you get tired, you sweat (depends on your teacher, btw.  I don’t want anyone all mad at me because they end up with some mellow instructor.  Every class is different.  We have the immensely sweaty class.) but you never feel as if you’re “EXERCISING.”  I can do a whole class and not realize until I can barely sit down the next day that I did about 100 squats/plies the day before in class.  And there ain’t nothing like not being able to sit down and get back up again to let you know you’ve worked out. (Either that, or you’ve just gotten too fat to make your way out of a chair.)

So there it is – my pitch for Nia.  With nary a self-deprecating comment in sight.  See? Nia is empowering me already.

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